so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize