I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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