Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
