You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize