I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
