First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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