Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
