My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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