The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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