He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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