I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
