I CAN MOONWALK!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
