my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
