seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
