I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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