Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
