that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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