nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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