Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
