If i come over, it means nothing
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
