i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
