you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
