Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
