He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
