my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
