Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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