she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize