this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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