I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
