he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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