And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize