saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
