what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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