question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
