Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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