I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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