Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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