Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
