i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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