i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
50% drunk capacity currently
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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