Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
