you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
