Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
