Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
