Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
