What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
