they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize