how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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