You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
