im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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