I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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