hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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