If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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