sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize